One Sleazy Word from the Green Tea, and I Dialled 911
Language: en
I'm a literal-minded legal fanatic, born without a hint of irony. When my mother joked that my father's antics made her want to die, I called 911 to report him for attempted murder. When my deskmate swore he’d tear his heart out for me, I pressed a surgical rib spreader to his chest and demanded he fulfill his "gift." Soon, no one dared use figurative language around me—in my presence, everyone became law-abiding and precise. Then came my engagement party. My fiancé, Patrick Elkin, brought his stepsister Jessica—no blood relation, of course. They must have thought I wouldn’t dare ruin my…