Love Fades With The Wind

As she stepped out of the miscarriage surgery room, Mu Ci finally decided to let go of her feelings for Lin Nanyan.

The trash can held the remnants of a painful procedure, symbolizing a life that ended before it began. Mu Ci didn't cry; instead, she calmly returned her maternal aunt's call.

"Auntie, I've been accepted into the prestigious graduate program at Columbia University. I'll be heading over to complete the enrollment process in a month. I'm also willing to live with you in Canada from now on."

Her aunt's voice was choked with joy on the other end of the line.

"That's wonderful, Mu Ci. Our family will finally be complete. Make sure to speak with the Lin family properly. After all, they've treated you like their daughter for so many years, and your dear brother Lin Nanyan has taken good care of you all this time... "

"Okay." After hanging up, Mu Ci remained silent on the cab ride home. The flickering lights outside the window blurred, making it impossible for anyone to decipher the emotions in her eyes.

The villa was dark; Lin's parents had gone out for a banquet and hadn't returned yet. Only when Mu Ci turned on the lights did she notice Lin Nanyan sprawled on the sofa, smelling strongly of alcohol—evidence of his drinking that evening.

The brightness made Lin Nanyan furrow his brows deeply. "Change the light."

As Mu Ci changed the light, she asked, "Did you see my call this afternoon?"

The anesthesia had worn off, leaving Mu Ci pale and her voice weak.

Lin Nanyan, slightly intoxicated, didn't even glance at Mu Ci. He turned over and mumbled, "Busy, didn't notice."

After all, Mu Ci rarely had important matters to discuss with him. It was common for Lin Nanyan to miss her calls or ignore her messages.

Annoyed at the prospect of further questioning, Lin Nanyan got up, pulling his clothes around him, and said, "I'm going upstairs to sleep."

With that, he left without caring about Mu Ci's expression, heading to his room in just a few quick steps and shutting the door behind him.

He was indeed drunk, leaving his phone on the sofa. As Mu Ci approached, the screen lit up.

"Thank you, Nanyan, for the fireworks tonight. I'm so touched."

Mu Ci felt a pang in her heart. She opened the phone and found it was a message from Su Xia. Scrolling up the message history, she saw that Lin Nanyan and Su Xia had been chatting since Su Xia announced her return to the country a month ago.

Today, Lin Nanyan had hosted a welcome party for Su Xia, complete with a fireworks display.

Mu Ci exited the interface, seeing her own messages piled up to 99+ unread. The last message in the chat was sent before she entered the surgery room.

Mu Ci: "Brother, does what you said on my twentieth birthday still count?"

At that time, Lin Nanyan had been busy preparing a surprise for Su Xia and hadn't even opened the message interface.

Mu Ci's eyes burned with tears, yet she couldn't help but laugh. Perhaps because she had completely given up, Mu Ci didn't feel heartbroken, only that her years of affection seemed laughable.

Since the Lin family took her in as a foster daughter at fifteen, Mu Ci had secretly loved Lin Nanyan for seven years.

As an orphan and foster daughter, he was two years older than her—a nominal brother. Their identities were worlds apart, and Lin Nanyan was always so cold. Mu Ci never dared to reveal this forbidden feeling.

Until her twentieth birthday, when Lin Nanyan, drunk, kissed her and promised to love her forever. Taking advantage of Lin's parents' absence, they indulged in their secret and forbidden relationship, despite having no blood relation.

Even though Lin Nanyan was never warm to her, and even though they secretly dated for two years without him confessing to Lin's parents, Mu Ci never considered that Lin Nanyan might not love her.

So when she discovered her pregnancy a month ago, Mu Ci was elated, buying a massive cake to celebrate. With this child, she and Lin Nanyan would transition from pretend siblings to parents. Her pregnancy wouldn't wait, and eventually, they would have to marry.

When Lin's parents were away, Mu Ci sat in Lin Nanyan's room from dawn until dusk, until she noticed Lin Nanyan's computer hadn't logged out of WeChat, and a message popped up.

The message was from Su Xia: "Lin Nanyan, I'm coming back home. Will you pick me up?"

Mu Ci sat in front of the computer, watching in disbelief as Lin Nanyan instantly replied: "When and which exit?"

Below Lin Nanyan's computer screen, she found an unresolved video. With trembling hands, Mu Ci clicked play.

The video showed a girl standing under a sky filled with bursting fireworks, her eyes sparkling as she made a wish: "Lin Nanyan, I'm going to Los Angeles. Don't forget me. Let's be best friends forever."

After a long stretch of darkness, Mu Ci saw the recording Lin Nanyan made that day.

He wore the same clothes from Mu Ci's twentieth birthday, drunk and bitterly smiling at the camera, murmuring, "Su Xia, I don't want to be just friends forever."

Mu Ci felt as if struck by lightning, instantly understanding why Lin Nanyan returned late, already drunk that night, and why he said, "I'll love you forever, " across the candlelit birthday cake.

Their secret and forbidden relationship was doomed from the start.

Mu Ci didn't regret devoting her youth to loving Lin Nanyan. If Su Xia hadn't been there, she could have made countless excuses for Lin Nanyan's indifference. As long as there was no other woman in Lin Nanyan's life, she could deceive herself into believing it was just his nature.

But now she understood, Lin Nanyan's heart harbored an unattainable, idealized love, and his indifference was simply because he didn't love her.

The decision to terminate the pregnancy marked the end for Mu Ci.

She was ready to leave completely.

Lin Nanyan realized his phone was missing an hour later and hurried out to retrieve it.

Mu Ci hadn't gone to the bedroom yet and was standing by the dining table taking her medication.

The doctor had advised her to rest for two weeks after the miscarriage; only Mu Ci could sense the changes from when the child first settled in her womb to being forcibly removed.

"Why aren't you asleep yet?" Lin Nanyan asked as he grabbed his phone from the sofa, turning to see Mu Ci standing nearby.

The kitchen lights were off, and only a dim light from the living room illuminated Mu Ci's face, making her expression unreadable.

Mu Ci replied in a normal tone, "I will, soon."

"What medicine are you taking?" Lin Nanyan, who rarely paid attention to her, asked out of concern, "Is it for the stomachache you mentioned before?"

It had been a month and a half since Mu Ci had playfully complained about her stomach discomfort. At that time, she didn't know she was pregnant, and Lin Nanyan hadn't noticed the hospital check-up messages she sent later on.

Mu Ci's grip tightened on her warm water cup.

Just as Lin Nanyan asked, his phone rang again. He quickly responded to the message, forgetting the question he had just asked Mu Ci, and turned to head back to his room.

The light from the phone reflected on Lin Nanyan's face, revealing a faint smile that Mu Ci couldn't help but notice.

She didn't need to ask; she knew the message was from Su Xia.

Mu Ci and Lin Nanyan had been secretly together for two years, yet she had never seen him smile so warmly. It turned out he wasn't naturally cold; he just hadn't met someone who could melt his heart.

Mu Ci set down her cup and went to the bedroom, feeling only a sense of calm.

Whether it was love or not, it was just a passing phase. The decision to leave marked the moment she truly began to move on.

The next morning, when Lin Nanyan got up, Mu Ci hadn't risen for breakfast yet. Lin's parents were rushing out and asked Lin Nanyan to tell Mu Ci that breakfast was left in the pot for her.

When the door opened, Lin Nanyan stood at the entrance, "Don't sleep in too late. You're a senior now; make sure you stay on top of things to graduate on time."

In his eyes, Mu Ci had too much free time to text him all the time.

Mu Ci, drenched in a cold sweat all night, sat up with a head full of damp hair and replied, "Got it."

"Not feeling well? Haven't the meds helped?" Lin Nanyan asked casually.

In the past, these concerned words would have made Mu Ci's heart flutter, thinking they were proof of Lin Nanyan's love hidden beneath his aloof demeanor.

But this time, Mu Ci simply shook her head and answered indifferently, "Just slept late."

The absence of her usual affection surprised Lin Nanyan.

He continued, "Have you found an internship?"

Mu Ci paused before answering, "Yes, I'll start in a month."

"Why not start now?" Lin Nanyan glanced at the time, eager to leave.

Mu Ci dabbed at her sweat with a tissue and replied slowly, "I've got a lot to handle this month."

"Alright, I'm also quite busy lately." Without noticing anything unusual about Mu Ci, Lin Nanyan assumed she was just groggy from sleep and didn't ask further before leaving.

Mu Ci lay back down. Alone in the house, she called a cleaning service and gradually packed her belongings.

She started with the traces of her secret relationship with Lin Nanyan over the past two years. The cleaning lady would ask, "Are you sure you don't want these?"

There were so many items—couples' keychains she had secretly bought, matching but differently colored slippers, ties, shirts, cufflinks, a jar full of folded paper cranes, a symbol of wishes and hope in some cultures. Lin Nanyan, avoiding suspicion, had never dared to use them, so they were practically new.

Mu Ci lay on the bed, gazing at the ceiling, letting out a soft laugh.

"I don't want any of it."

All memories of Lin Nanyan and her, she let go of them all.

Her phone chimed with a message notification. It was a friend request from a stranger, but Mu Ci recognized the familiar rose avatar. She calmly accepted the request.

"Hello, sis, I'm Lin Nanyan's good friend, Su Xia."

The other person greeted first.

Although Mu Ci and Lin Nanyan had been dating for two years, no one around them knew. All of Lin Nanyan's friends simply called her "sis."

"Hello, " Mu Ci replied politely.

Su Xia's side showed "typing" for a long time, but finally, she only said, "I just got back home. I heard from Nanyan that there's a particularly adorable sis at home. When I have time, I'll treat you to a meal."

"Sure." Mu Ci smiled and opened Su Xia's social media profile.

The pinned post was a picture of fireworks. In the distant scene, Lin Nanyan stood by the river, lighting fireworks, with his profile partially hidden by the night.

"Beautiful fireworks, someone who means the world to me, " it read.

Lin Nanyan had liked the post.

Lin Nanyan's indifference left Mu Ci without a response to share, so over the past two years, she had taken to posting frequently on social media. Sometimes it was just a beautiful flower she saw on the road, other times it was a complaint about the school's cafeteria food, or simply random thoughts. Lin Nanyan never liked her posts and had even forbidden Mu Ci from posting anything about him.

Caught in the middle, it was hard to see clearly, but now stepping back, Mu Ci realized that for the past two years, her enthusiasm had been one-sided. Lin Nanyan rarely gave her any response.

Everywhere she looked, there was evidence that he didn't love her, yet she stubbornly refused to see it.

Lin's parents often traveled for work. This time, they were abroad for nearly half a month. When Lin Nanyan returned home in the evening, he saw Mu Ci eating noodles alone at the dining table.

"I have plans tonight, not eating noodles." Lin Nanyan changed shoes and entered the house.

Mu Ci didn't stop eating, just nodded silently.

As Lin Nanyan passed by Mu Ci, he frowned. Mu Ci had been acting differently these past few days, not messaging him, not saving him food, and speaking very little.

"Why are you only eating noodles? It's not very healthy." In a rare moment, Lin Nanyan stopped and asked.

Mu Ci put down her chopsticks and casually replied, "I'm full. Are you back to get something?"

Lin Nanyan nodded but couldn't tell what Mu Ci was thinking. He was in a hurry to leave. After circling the bedroom, he came out with an even deeper frown.

Mu Ci was still sitting at the dining table. Seeing him standing at the door without speaking, just looking at her, her heart skipped a beat, thinking he might have discovered she had packed to travel overseas.

"What is it?"

"Do you remember the jar of paper cranes you gave me?" Lin Nanyan couldn't find it.

That year, Lin Nanyan injured his foot while playing basketball, and the jar of paper cranes was something Mu Ci had folded over three sleepless nights. It was said that collecting a thousand paper cranes would make one recover, as per the traditional belief that folding a thousand paper cranes grants a wish or brings healing.

Mu Ci lowered her eyes and truthfully said, "It was old, useless just sitting there. I cleaned it out and threw it away this afternoon."

"Forget it then." Lin Nanyan walked to the door to put on his shoes, perhaps because Mu Ci had been acting so strange these days, he especially said before leaving, "The company is busy lately. Next month, I'll take you out for something delicious."

Mu Ci remained at the dining table, not answering.

Lin Nanyan had already left. Mu Ci opened Su Xia's profile again and saw that two hours ago she had posted a picture, her ankle slightly red in high heels.

"Injured, if someone folds me a thousand paper cranes, I'll... "

And then what?

Mu Ci closed the profile with a blank expression, a hint of self-mockery.

Despite clearing out so many things in the house, Lin Nanyan hadn't noticed a thing, only caring about that jar of paper cranes. In Lin Nanyan's mind, she was probably not even as valued as a sister.

Lin Nanyan didn't come home that night. Su Xia's updates were frequent.

She had twisted her ankle, someone took her to the hospital, someone cared for her, and someone stayed up all night, afraid she would be cold, hungry, or in pain...

A few days later, Mu Ci went to the hospital for a follow-up on her uterus. Just as she put away her test results, she ran into Lin Nanyan and Su Xia in the corridor.

Su Xia was clinging to Lin Nanyan's arm, smiling up at him, saying something. Lin Nanyan held her test results, supporting Su Xia, with a tender look in his eyes.

The two of them looked like a couple blissfully in love.