I Walked To The Crematorium On My Birthday

1
When my little sister Amanda got slapped by a classmate, Dad rushed to school, Mom tore up the parent chat, and Brother Tyler brought friends to trap the boy at the gates. But Amanda pouted that everyone now made fun of her. Mom baked forty-five cupcakes for distribution, while Dad and Brother sent five hundred dollars in apology. Amanda finally stopped crying.
The next day, a cupcake appeared on my desk. I gathered courage. "Mom... someone is bullying me..." Mom simmered soup, brushing me off. "Kids make a big deal out of nothing. Maybe they're just joking." I turned to Tyler. "They took my allowance and tore my test papers." Glued to his phone leveling Amanda's gaming account, he didn't answer. Dad called from the living room, "If you don't provoke them, why would they bully you? Reflect on your own behavior."
I reflected all night but couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong. Soon, bullies trapped me in a dark alley. They stripped me, took photos, and beat me until I coughed up blood. I dialed my family dozens of times from my shattered phone. No answer. As they left, one mentioned the last person they beat this way died of internal bleeding.
Bruised and bleeding, I dragged myself home. Mom, Dad, and Tyler were gathered around Amanda, helping her try on a new princess dress. They'd forgotten it was my birthday. I said nothing. Using my last spare change, I took a bus to the local crematorium. Standing before the old security guard, I whispered, "Sir, I think I'm dying soon. Can you help me prepare a grave?"
…
The old security guard, Ben, took me inside his booth. He washed the dirt off my hands and gently sanitized my cuts with iodine.
He pulled out his phone, dialing my family while trying to comfort me.
"You had a fight with your parents and ran away, didn't you? Your mom and dad must be worried sick right now."
"I'll call them to pick you up and take you home, okay?"
Worried sick. I caught that phrase in my head.
Listening to the dial tone echoing from Ben's speakerphone, my heart pounded wildly.
A few months ago, Mom refused to buy Amanda a toy she wanted. Amanda threw a tantrum and ran away from home.
The entire family went out of their minds.
Dad called the police three times in less than twenty-four hours. Tyler and his friends searched almost every street and alley in the city.
When Amanda was finally found, Mom held her in her arms, sobbing hysterically and agreeing to every single request Amanda had.
Dad and Tyler both had bloodshot eyes from crying.
Would they be worried sick for me, too?
A faint spark of hope flickered in my chest, and my eyes brightened up for a second.
Ben's heart softened seeing my expression, and he gently patted my head.
The call finally went through. Ben quickly explained the situation, but Tyler's impatient voice came blasting through the speaker.
"Why is she running around late at night anyway? Amanda is trying to sleep."
"Just let her stay outside for the night. She's old enough to take care of herself."
I froze in place.
Over the phone, Amanda's spoiled voice echoed in the background. "Mom has to bathe me, Tyler has to brush my teeth, and Dad has to read me a bedtime story! None of you can leave!"
Ben tried to say something more, but the call was promptly disconnected.
I lowered my eyes.
I should have known it would end like this, shouldn't I?
Ever since I was little, I was the most sensible, obedient child in the house.
Everyone assumed I could take care of myself and didn't need an ounce of concern.
They naturally poured all their love onto Amanda.
It didn't matter... it really didn't matter...
A violent surge rose in my chest. I couldn't hold it back and vomited another mouthful of blood onto the floor.
"Oh my goodness! What's wrong with you!" Ben gasped in terror. "Hold on, let me grab my coat and take you to the hospital!"
Panicking, I quickly pulled out a napkin to wipe the blood off the tile.
While Ben turned his back to grab more paper towels, I ran out of the guardhouse into the dark night.
Going to the hospital meant spending money, time, and energy.
The last time I had a high fever and went to the hospital, Mom, Dad, and Tyler had a massive argument over who had to stay behind to take care of me.
I couldn't be a burden to them again.
Near the crematorium was a public cemetery on a quiet hillside. I picked a small, grassy spot for myself and lay down silently.
My body was aching everywhere.
The bullies said that coughing up blood meant internal organs were ruptured. Without immediate medical care, a person would die.
But if I died, my family would have one less trouble to deal with.
The cemetery was dead silent, save for the rustling of leaves in the night wind.
Scared of the pitch-black darkness, I used the last one percent of my phone battery to call Mom.
After a long wait, Mom finally answered. She let out an exasperated sigh.
"You chose to run away yourself, Nora. You can't blame anyone else. Just stay outside tonight and take the bus back tomorrow morning."
Before I could say anything, the call went dead.
Mom misunderstood me. I didn't want her to pick me up. I just wanted to hear her voice one last time.
Today was the day I was going to die. It was also my birthday.
"Happy birthday to me... happy birthday to me..."
Staring up at the dark, starless sky, I sang the birthday song to myself in a whisper, quietly waiting for death to claim me.
The next morning, I opened my eyes. A ray of golden sunlight hit my face. I realized I hadn't died yet.
My body, however, hurt ten times worse than the night before.
"She's over here!"
Ben rushed over, accompanied by two police officers.
I sat quietly on the stone bench, waiting for the officers to contact my family.
Ben stood to the side, sighing heavily. "What kind of parents are they? Their kid goes missing all night, and they don't even care!"
Nearly three hours later, Mom, Dad, and Tyler finally showed up.
Dad offered an apologetic smile to the officers.
"Our youngest daughter insisted on getting her hair redone this morning, and we had to drop her off at school first. That's why we're late."
"Sorry for the trouble."
Mom was busy admiring photos of Amanda on her phone.
Tyler was on a call, telling his friends at school to make sure Amanda was well looked after.
Not a single one of them paid any attention to me.
One of the officers felt sorry for me and slipped a piece of candy into my hand.
Ben had to head back to work, but before leaving, he reminded my parents sternly: "This girl was throwing up blood last night. You must take her to the hospital immediately."
Another heavy silence fell over my family.
Mom frowned in annoyance. "But I still have to pack a heart-shaped bento for Amanda! She told her classmates she'd show it off today!"
Tyler sounded completely indifferent. "She's so young, what serious illness could she possibly have? No need for a hospital. Just let her rest at home."
Suddenly, Dad's phone rang.
It was Amanda's homeroom teacher. The moment Dad answered, his expression flipped completely.
"Amanda fell down at school and scraped her knee!"
Mom and Tyler immediately stood up, rushing toward the car.
I was tossed into the backseat like a piece of unwanted luggage and dropped off at home on their way to Amanda's school.
My body was covered in deep scrapes and bruises.
It hurt so much.
Tyler unlocked the front door and prepared to leave to join Mom and Dad at school.
I grabbed his sleeve desperately. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, another mouthful of blood spilled from my lips.
"Tyler... it hurts so much..."
He merely cast a brief, annoyed glance at the puddle of blood on the floor.
"If it hurts, take some painkillers. It's just a minor ailment, just bear with it."
Amanda was taken to the hospital to have her knee bandaged and brought home in a wheelchair.
Mom, Dad, and Tyler took turns waiting on her hand and foot. No one even bothered to check if I was still in my room.
The next morning, I had to go to school as usual.
Keeping my head down, I walked into the classroom. My desk was a complete disaster once again.
My notebooks were shredded, my pencil case was gone, and chalk dust had been dumped into my water bottle.
I quietly cleaned up the mess and sat down in the corner.
A few girls in the front row leaned together, whispering and shooting mocking glances at me with grins on their faces.
Amanda's seat was right in the middle of the front row.
She wore a floral dress Mom had bought her, surrounded by a crowd of eager classmates. The wrappers from Mom's mini cupcakes were spread across her desk, and several boys were hovering around her.
"Your brother bought us milk tea yesterday," one boy said. "The snacks at your house are awesome!"
Amanda smiled sweetly.
Amanda never admitted at school that we were related.
Tyler also made a point to protect only her, never uttering my name to anyone.
Everyone assumed I had no one behind me, that I was weak and timid, making me the easiest target in school.
The homeroom teacher, Mrs. Gable, walked into the classroom as the bell rang, holding the monthly exam results.
"The results for the monthly exams are in," Mrs. Gable announced. "The top score in our class goes to Nora again. A perfect score."
I stood up and walked down the aisle to the front.
I took the test paper, my fingertips turning pale.
A perfect score.
Just like last time. Just like every single time before.
Yet no matter how many top scores I brought home, no one in my family cared.
Whenever I brought a test paper home, Dad would give a faint groan, Mom would toss it onto the coffee table, and Tyler wouldn't even look at it.
Eventually, I stopped bringing them out. Why humiliate myself over something they didn't care about?
When Amanda scored dead last in her class, Mom would hug her and say Amanda was still young, and she'd do better next time. Tyler would buy her toys, and Dad would take her out for ice cream.
Mrs. Gable looked at me with concern. "Nora, what's wrong? You look terribly pale."
I opened my mouth to reply, but a metallic, coppery taste suddenly burst in my throat. I couldn't hold it back, leaning over and vomiting a large puddle of blood onto the floor.
This time was different. The blood was dark, almost black.
The classroom fell dead silent.
Mrs. Gable was terrified. She rushed over to support my shoulders.
"Don't move! I'm calling your parents right now!"
She pulled out her phone and dialed quickly, her voice panicked.
"Is this Nora's parent? Your daughter just vomited black blood at school! It looks extremely serious! Please come..."
I couldn't hear what the person on the other end said, but Mrs. Gable's eyebrows knitted tightly together.
"She looks very sick, it's best if you come to the school... Really? No need? Fine, I'll let her walk home herself then."
Hanging up the phone, she looked at me with a complicated expression, hesitating before saying:
"Your parents said you should walk home and rest by yourself."
I nodded, folded my test paper neatly into my pocket, and packed my backpack.
The girls in the front row resumed whispering, while Amanda kept her head down, digging through her desk for snacks.
I put on my backpack and walked toward the exit. Just as I pulled open the classroom door, I saw three familiar figures walking down the hallway.
Mom was carrying Amanda's tiny backpack, Dad held a camera, and Tyler carried a bag of treats.
They paused for a split second when they saw me.
Mom gave me a brief smile. "Nora, go home first. We're taking Amanda to the amusement park to celebrate her birthday early today."
Swiping past my shoulder, she walked into the classroom, calling out joyfully:
"Amanda! Dad and Mom came to give you a surprise!"
The entire class let out envious gasps.
I looked at Amanda helplessly as she threw herself into Mom's arms.
Walking down to the ground floor of the school building, I gently tugged at Mom's sleeve.
"Mom... I want to go to the amusement park too..."
I was dying soon, and I had never been to an amusement park in my entire life.
Mom frowned in annoyance. "Nora, you're looking like this and you still want to go to an amusement park? What if the cold wind makes you worse?"
"Exactly," Tyler interrupted impatiently, looking up from his phone. "Amanda rarely gets a chance to go out and play. If you go and vomit all over the place, how bad is that going to look? How unlucky!"
I opened my mouth, wanting to tell them that I would hold it in, that I wouldn't cause any trouble, that I just wanted to see what it looked like once.
Dad had already bypassed me, squatting down to tie Amanda's shoelaces without looking up.
"Nora, go home and rest by yourself. Take your medicine and sleep. In a few days, when it's Amanda's actual birthday, we'll get you a make-up gift."
"I don't want a gift..."
"Alright, that's enough," Mom was already urging Amanda toward the gates, waving her hand back at me. "Be good and head home quickly. Don't dawdle."
She took Dad's arm and walked away.
Amanda was riding on Tyler's back. She turned her head, her bright eyes fixed on me as she stuck her tongue out playfully.
I didn't start walking until their car drove out of the school gates.
Suffocating waves of pain surged in my chest. Every step I took felt like my bones were breaking.
The walk from school to home usually took twenty minutes. I lasted only ten minutes before collapsing against a tree by the curb, gasping for air as my vision turned black.
In the end, a street cleaner found me and called an ambulance.
When I woke up, I was in a hospital room.
A white ceiling, the sharp smell of disinfectant, and the steady beep-beep of an EKG monitor filled my senses.
A nurse was adjusting my IV line. Seeing me open my eyes, she let out a sigh of relief.
"You're awake? You passed out by the roadside. You have severe internal bleeding, your condition is very critical. You need emergency surgery immediately."
She paused, looking at me with pity.
"We couldn't reach your family. We tried calling the numbers for your mom, dad, and brother stored in your phone, but no one picked up."
I reached under my pillow for my phone.
The moment I unlocked the screen, a new social media update popped up.
It was posted by Mom.
A nine-photo grid: Amanda smiling on a carousel, Tyler holding cotton candy for her, and Dad making a funny face in front of the camera.
The caption read: [Our little birthday girl is celebrating her birthday early today! Happiness is all that matters!]
There were over twenty likes from relatives and Mom's friends.
I stared at that post for a very long time.
Nurse Julie leaned over to take a look, froze for a moment, and quickly took the phone away, forcing a smile.
"Your parents must be busy right now and didn't hear the ring. Don't worry, I'll call them again. I'm sure they'll pick up this time."
I smiled weakly and nodded.
"Yeah. They must be busy."
Nurse Julie looked back at me, something glistening in her eyes. She quickly turned around and walked out, saying she would fetch me a glass of warm water.
I leaned back against the pillow, staring at the ceiling light.
The warm yellow glow bathed the entire ward in a soft light.
Suddenly, I felt so tired. My eyelids felt impossibly heavy.
The phone beside my hand lit up again. It was a post from Tyler.
A photo of Amanda riding on Dad's shoulders, holding an ice cream cone high in the air.
The caption read: [This little princess insisted on having a second one. Guess we have to spoil her.]
I let out a faint smile, flipping the phone over onto the pillow.
A gentle breeze blew in from the window, making the curtains flutter like a hand waving goodbye.
I remembered lying in the cemetery yesterday; the wind had felt just like this.
Nurse Julie hadn't come back yet.
It probably takes a long time to get warm water.
That was okay.
I slowly closed my eyes, the faint smile still lingering on my lips.
It didn't hurt anymore.
Early the next morning, Nurse Julie finally got through to my family.
When they arrived at the hospital, Mom was still complaining to Dad.
"Honestly, I don't know what Nora is thinking, running to the hospital first thing in the morning."
Tyler looked down at his phone, asking the nurse casually:
"What illness does she have anyway? Is it really worth being hospitalized?"
Nurse Julie didn't say a word. She turned around and led them deep into the hallway.
Pushing open the heavy door to the morgue, a blast of freezing air hit them.
Mom's complaining stopped abruptly.
Dad froze dead in his tracks.
Tyler stared at the small, still outline beneath the white sheet, his lips trembling slightly.
Nurse Julie spoke softly into the silence:
"Before she passed away, she held my hand and asked to be buried somewhere far away so you wouldn't have to bother visiting her."
"She said... one flower on her grave would be enough."