I Left My Cheating Mate, He Begged for Forgiveness

Charles Hale wanted to prove he could succeed without inheriting the Alpha position, so he devoted almost all his time to his work on cruise ships.
For ten years, I watched him work his way up from deckhand to captain.
I was happy to support him and take care of him whenever he needed me.
I asked him once, "When are you going to take me out on the water? I want to see the gulls and the huge waves with you."
He rolled over, turning his back to me.
"There are so many passengers on that ship. It's not exactly a place for a date."
I didn't say anything. I filed it away and never brought it up again.
Then one day, I stumbled across the private photo album he'd kept hidden for years.
Thousands of photos, every one taken on deck, with waves and the sunrise in the background.
And the same woman in all of them.
She had her arms thrown wide, like she was trying to hold the whole ocean.
Charles had written little diary entries on the backs of the photos, all the things he wanted to say to her.
"I cherish every day I get to watch the sea with you. I hope it stays like this forever. The ocean, and you."
The most recent photo was dated last week. In it, the sea breeze was tossing her long hair.
I quietly shut the cabinet door and locked it again.
Then I sat alone on the living room couch and stared at nothing until dawn.
I picked up my phone and bought a ticket on an Alaska cruise.
After ten years, I thought I could finally stop letting my life revolve around waiting for him to come home.
No more crossing days off a calendar. No more checking the weather at sea to make sure he was safe.
He didn't want to share his stars and his ocean with me. Fine. I'd go see them on my own, and the wind out there would be mine.
Chapter 1
Charles glanced at me on the couch as he pulled on his coat.
"What are you thinking about?"
I looked up at him. The long dark coat made him look even taller.
"Nothing. Just eating breakfast."
He shook his head and made himself a cup of coffee.
"You should cut back on the frozen stuff. Eat something nutritious for a change."
Charles was always criticizing my eating habits.
The truth was, I had no interest in food when he wasn't home.
He checked the clock on the wall and started buttoning his coat.
"The round trip will take a week. You—"
I nodded before he could finish.
"I know."
He gave me a surprised look, as if he expected me to say more.
Normally, if he was going to be gone for more than a week, I would have complained that it was too long. I would have told him how much I'd miss him every day.
Once he was gone, I'd figure out exactly when his breaks were, down to the second, and time my calls to catch him.
Today I was quiet. I didn't say one word more than I had to.
Charles patted the side pocket of his bag, glanced toward the entryway, then turned back to me.
"You didn't pack any milk for me?"
I shook my head.
"No. You always say I pack things you don't need. When I do pack milk, you don't drink it."
His lips pressed into a thin line. That was the look he got whenever he was unhappy with me.
"Nova, I haven't had breakfast."
I spread my hands.
"I used to make you breakfast, and you always had an excuse not to eat it. Now you're asking me for it. What do you actually want?"
That was probably the most I'd said to him all morning.
Charles frowned. He clearly didn't like the way I was acting.
"Nova, something's off with you today."
I opened my mouth to answer, but his phone rang.
Charles glanced at me and answered. A woman's bright voice came through the phone, clear enough for me to hear. "Charles, the wind out in the Caribbean is freezing. Do you still have my jacket?"
Charles murmured a soft yes into the phone.
It was nothing like the voice he used with me. One small sound, and you could hear him smiling. "I'll bring it to you."
I could see the screen. Instead of her name, he'd saved her contact as one word: Her.
It said more than a whole conversation would have.
After he hung up, I couldn't help myself.
"Who was that?"
Charles didn't miss a beat.
"Vivian Shaw. She works the concierge desk."
I nodded. She was the woman in the photos.
"Really? I didn't think she worked your route."
He didn't even blink at the question. He had an answer ready. "It's a temporary reassignment. I don't know the details."
Charles stood there in front of me, his voice as pleasant as ever.
Every word was a lie.
Those thousands of photos didn't lie. The scenery in them was more honest than he was.
He'd never once taken me aboard a ship he captained. He'd never shown me any of the scenery along the way.
All those days I sat at home missing him, Vivian was the one standing next to him.
I kept my voice soft. "Charles, do you remember what we're supposed to be doing at the end of the month?"
He straightened his collar in the mirror and answered without looking at me. "Either I'm off or I'm working."
I looked down and let it go.
He didn't have much time off. We'd agreed to use his break at the end of the month to finally try for a pup of our own.
Ten years ago, right after we became mates, he'd touched my face and made a promise. "As soon as I make captain, we'll have a baby."
He'd said that once he made captain, he'd take me out onto the open ocean, where I could smell the salt in the sea breeze.
Then he got busier and busier. He was barely ever home, and even a little intimacy with me had become a luxury.
Even trying for a baby meant timing my ovulation to match his shore leave exactly.
"I'm leaving. Head out on time, and don't forget your keys."
Charles had just started to leave when I called his name again. "Charles."
He didn't like being stopped. His frown deepened.
"Can't you say it all at once? My time is valuable."
"There's milk in the fridge."
Charles curled his lip in irritation.
"Forget it. Why didn't you say so earlier?"
He slammed the door behind him, making it clear he was done with the conversation.
I sat stunned for a moment. Then I took out my phone and looked at my one-way Alaska cruise ticket again.
Seven days. I was going to use them to say goodbye to ten years.
Chapter 2
The only people I told about leaving were my parents.
I expected a lecture. Instead, they both supported me.
"Nova, go do whatever you want to do. And remember, you can always count on us."
After that call, I felt calm.
I looked around the place, then went to the bedroom and started packing.
The house wasn't mine. Charles had bought it after he made captain.
He said he wanted to give me a real home.
I was so happy I spent every dollar I had furnishing it.
He didn't like anything I picked. He replaced it all with Mediterranean-style decor and even had our bedroom walls painted pink.
I asked him why he'd chosen that color. He lay on the bed with a somber look in his eyes.
"I want you to stay a young girl forever."
It wasn't until I saw what Vivian was wearing in those photos that I understood.
Pink was her favorite. The Mediterranean decor was about the two of them, too.
I was packing my suitcase when I looked up and saw our wedding photo on the wall.
I'd been beaming that day, but Charles's expression had been tense and unsmiling.
The photographer had to remind him several times, "Sir, you have to smile. You can't look this serious in a wedding photo."
Charles tried to cooperate, but the best he could manage was a stiff smile.
I covered for him.
"He's a captain. This is just how he is."
Only after I found those other photos did I understand. A job doesn't change who someone is.
He hadn't been able to smile that day. Maybe the problem was who stood next to him.
I took the photo off the wall and cut my half out of it.
I used to believe the Moon Goddess had destined us for each other, that ours was the deepest bond.
Now I finally understood. She had given us a mate bond, not love.
My phone chimed with a WhatsApp message from Charles.
"Made it to the hotel. About to turn in. Did you eat?"
I sent back a single word. "Yeah."
The old me would have asked for photos of the hotel and descriptions of the city and scenery around him. I'd wanted to know everything about his life. Even if I couldn't go with him, I'd wanted to feel as though we'd seen those places together.
Ten minutes later, another message came in, this one about the hotel.
"This place is nice. Dinner's a buffet. They have that cod you like."
I didn't answer. He sent another one.
"It's pretty cold here. Did you pack any extra clothes for me?"
Again, I answered with one word.
"No."
It hit me then. When you stop caring about someone, your replies really do get that short. Just like his replies to me had always been.
The funny part was that today he had plenty to say.
I had a new notification on Instagram.
I opened it. Vivian had posted.
Her nighttime photo of the water showed a brightly lit hotel nearby. It was the same hotel Charles had just messaged me about.
The caption said:
"Moonlight on the harbor, me in your arms. This moment is ours, my darling captain."
People had liked the post.
Then I saw her reply.
"Thank you all for the love."
I could feel how happy she was right through the screen.
It just wasn't my happiness.
I locked the screen and closed my eyes. A wave of happiness washed over me.
It wasn't mine. It was his, flowing through the mate bond.
I used to be so stupid about it. Every time I felt that, I told myself he just loved his work, loved the ocean.
I was actually thrilled that I got to feel what he felt.
It never occurred to me that I only ever felt it when he was away from me, out on the water.
Or that another woman was the one making him happy.
A few mornings later, Charles pushed open the bedroom door, bringing the cold in with him.
I opened my eyes. He pressed a quick, half-hearted kiss to my forehead and handed me a fancy gift bag.
"A present for you."
The old me would have been moved to tears. Now I just glanced at it without interest.
"How much did it cost?"
He rubbed his nose, looking guilty.
"Not much. I'm no good at picking these things. I don't know if you'll even like the pin."
I pushed the bag a little farther away.
"I don't want the freebie that came with Vivian's necklace."
Charles's expression turned cold.
"What do you know?"
I picked up my phone and waved it at him.
"I saw her post."
His expression relaxed.
"I thought the pin would suit you, so I asked her for it. And now it's not good enough for you?"
I looked him straight in the eye.
"It was a free gift with someone else's purchase. Why should I want it? Or do you think I only deserve things other people don't want?"
"That's enough, Nova!"
Charles's voice rose.
"What are you throwing a fit about?
"You used to complain that I never brought you anything. Now I bring you something and you're still unhappy. What do you actually want from me?
"I'm exhausted. I don't have the energy to sweet-talk you right now!"
I nodded.
"Then go sweet-talk someone else. I don't need it."
I pointed at the door.
"I'm going to sleep. Please get out."
Chapter 3
We left things on a sour note that day.
Over the next two days, I cleared out the things I didn't need anymore, a little at a time.
Charles and I were under the same roof, but for once, I wasn't clinging to him the way I used to.
He didn't notice how busy I was. If anything, he liked me better this way.
"This is nice, actually. Quiet. I can finally get some rest."
The message was clear. Before this, I'd been disturbing his rest.
He took his time pulling a sandwich out of the fridge, frowning at it.
"Are you going to cook or not? I'm hungry."
I tossed a sausage to him without looking up.
"I'm on my period and I don't feel like cooking. Figure it out."
He opened his mouth, then thought better of it. As he turned away, he muttered, "What's with her lately? This isn't cute at all."
I laughed bitterly to myself. Once, even with a 104-degree fever, I'd dragged myself around the kitchen to make him a full dinner just so we could eat together.
He never cared. He took everything I did for granted.
The day I stopped, I wasn't cute anymore.
And Vivian?
She didn't have to do a thing and she was still adorable to him.
"Nova," Charles called through a mouthful of sandwich.
"The crew's getting together tonight. Come with me."
I turned and stared at him.
"You're taking me? Are you sure?"
He'd never taken me to one of these before. His excuse was that everyone on the crew was single, and the two of us showing up together would look like we were rubbing it in.
"I'm sure."
He nodded.
"Vivian's in town for a few more days. She's been getting along great with everybody, and she said she'd like to meet you."
So that was it.
I only got to come because Vivian wanted to meet me.
Before we left, Charles made a point of sliding the moonstone ring off his finger and into his pocket. He caught me watching and explained casually, "They're all single. I have to think about their feelings."
I nodded and took mine off too.
Charles studied my face for a long moment, then smiled, satisfied.
"Good. You're being reasonable about this."
Bitterness spread through my chest.
In all those years, he had hardly ever praised me for anything.
The most sincere compliment he'd ever given me was for taking off the ring that marked me as his mate. How ironic.
At the restaurant, Vivian opened her arms to hug me.
"Hi, Nova! So good to finally meet you."
I stepped back without drawing attention to it, leaving her arms to close around empty air.
"You too."
The private room went still for a second.
Charles poked me in the back.
"Don't be rude. Don't embarrass me."
When we ordered, Charles gave the server specific instructions. "No peppercorn sauce on the steak."
He pointed at Vivian.
"She doesn't like it. Red wine sauce instead. For dessert, bring her that chocolate mousse you're famous for, and go easy on the cream."
The server wrote it all down, then looked at me.
"And the lady here?"
Vivian and I were the only women there. The server assumed Charles was being a gentleman and asked about my preferences too.
Charles hesitated for a beat and closed the menu.
"Whatever. She's not picky."
The room had been loud a second ago. Now nobody was saying anything.
Everyone watched me with guarded, uncomfortable expressions.
Charles noticed the tension and cleared his throat.
"Bring her the seafood soup."
The server wrote it down and left.
Vivian propped her chin on her hand and beamed at me.
"You're so lucky, Nova. Men as thoughtful as Charles are hard to find."
One of their coworkers jumped in to tease her. "You're the one who's been lucky these past few days. At the hotel and on the ship, our captain has personally arranged all your meals!"
"Right? When you caught a cold at sea last month, he spent a fortune on a designer jacket for you at the ship's duty-free shop."
Vivian glowed as she sat there soaking it all up.
Even Charles smiled a little and gave Vivian an affectionate look.
That was when I remembered the call he'd taken before his last trip.
The jacket Vivian had been asking about. So that was where it came from.
I had to laugh at myself a little.
When I was accidentally poisoned with wolfsbane, all Charles did was tell me to see a healer.
"Why are you telling me this? Werewolves are tough. Just take some herbs for the wolfsbane.
"I don't have any herbs on me. If you won't see a healer, go sit in the moonlight. Crying about it doesn't fix anything."
So a werewolf didn't always have to be that tough.
For Vivian, one cold breeze was enough to earn her a jacket.
Vivian cut into her steak and went on. "You two have been together so long, Nova. Has Charles always been this thoughtful? You're so lucky."
She sounded envious, with just a hint of disappointment underneath.
I set down my knife and fork and dabbed my mouth.
"My arms and legs work just fine. I can take care of myself."
My sarcasm was obvious. Vivian froze for a moment, and her voice grew tearful. "Nova, I'm only saying I wish I had a mate as good as yours. Why do you have to be so harsh...?"
Charles threw his silverware down on his plate with a sharp clatter.
"Nova, that's enough. Don't ruin the evening!"
I tilted my head.
"You think this is going well?"
Charles nodded.
"It was fine. They're just jealous of our marriage. What do you have to be angry about?"
"Jealous, are they?"
I looked at Vivian.
"If you're that jealous, you can have him."
I stood to go. Charles reached the door first and braced it shut, his eyes blazing red.
"Nova, I warned you."
I put a hand on him and pushed him away from the door.
"Message received. Can I go now?"
I didn't wait for an answer. I opened the door and walked out.
Outside the restaurant, I let out a breath.
Ten years, and that was the first time I'd said what I thought without worrying about how it made Charles look.
For the first time, I felt like my own person.
Chapter 4
Charles didn't come home that night.
He turned up at noon the next day, wearing a different shirt from the one he'd left in.
Wherever he'd slept, he had clothes there.
His eyes were dark and menacing as he slammed the door.
"Nova, that was classless."
I kept eating my pasta and didn't answer. He came over and slammed a hand down on the table.
"I'm talking to you. Didn't you hear me?
"What is wrong with you? You cook for yourself now, like I'm not even here."
I glanced up at him.
"You weren't home. Who was I supposed to cook for?"
That shut him up. Then he snorted. "Is this your way of getting my attention, Nova? Stop being so childish."
I put down my fork and wiped my mouth.
"I don't need your attention."
"Why do you always have that miserable look on your face?"
Charles pounded his fist on the table.
"I did you a favor by taking you last night, and you ruined the whole thing. Vivian kept crying. Did you even know that?"
I shrugged.
"No. You'd obviously know better than I would."
"Enough!"
He pointed a finger at me. "You're going to apologize to Vivian. Now."
I refused. "No. Why would I apologize?"
Charles felt an irritation he couldn't put into words.
He didn't know what had gotten into me. He just had the feeling that something had slipped completely out of his control.
He forced himself to calm down.
"I'm sailing the Caribbean at the end of the month. Isn't that what you've always wanted, the islands and the beaches?
"This is your best chance. I'll take you, but only if you apologize to Vivian first. It's the trip she's been looking forward to most, and I'm offering you the chance to go."
My heart lurched.
I'd thought he couldn't hurt me anymore. His words still hit hard enough to knock the air out of me.
That was the place I'd wanted to see most, the route Charles had sailed on his first trip as captain.
He'd been so excited as he held me.
"Nova, I'm finally sailing as captain. That route has the most beautiful views. When I get the chance, I'll take you with me!"
I'd never forgotten a word of it.
He clearly hadn't forgotten either. He'd just turned it into a bargaining chip to make me back down.
When I said nothing, Charles sounded even more agitated.
"I'm talking to you. Are you going to answer me?
"Who knows when I'll sail that route again? Don't push your luck. I've already given you a chance."
I looked up at him calmly.
"I don't want it."
Charles blinked, as if he hadn't heard me.
"Say that again?"
I took a breath and spoke more steadily this time. "I said I'm not going. Take whoever you want."
Charles's claws came out, and he slammed his fist into the floor, cracking it.
"Then tell me what you want!
"I ask, and you won't tell me. I offer, and you won't accept. Nova, don't test my patience. You can't handle the consequences!"
"Can't I?"
I laughed.
"What are you going to do, Captain? I'd love to hear what consequences you think I can't handle."
He pointed a finger in my face.
His finger shook with anger, and I could hear his teeth grinding. He stood there pointing at me for a long moment, unable to get a word out.
Then he turned and stormed out. I'd gotten to him.
Even so, I felt nothing. Charles no longer had any power over my emotions.
The end of the month came quickly.
It was the time we'd set aside, one of the rare chances for us to be alone together.
This time, I was the one backing out.
I took my suitcase down to a cab and got to the terminal early. I got through security and customs without a hitch.
Then an Instagram notification popped up. I opened it. Vivian again.
A selfie on a dock. Behind her, a tall figure with his back to the camera leaned against the railing with a glass of red wine.
The caption said:
"You told me you'd show me the most beautiful view there is. You kept your word, my captain."
A pale band of skin stood out on his ring finger.
It was Charles.
He'd taken off his moonstone ring and gone to sea with Vivian.
The view, the two of them leaning together, the sweet caption. It all fit perfectly.
It struck me as funny. They were so well matched that fate should have paired them instead.
So much for his offer to take me sailing if I apologized.
All he'd ever wanted was the apology. Taking me was never going to happen.
He already had someone beside him. That place had never been mine.
I picked up my key card, changed into something comfortable, and went up on deck.
The ship pulled away, and a sun-warmed breeze brushed my face.
Schools of fish scattered below me, and I smiled and waved goodbye to them.
Charles was with the woman he'd chosen. I had an ocean of my own now.
Ten years. He and I were officially finished.