You Took My Kidney for Your First Love. Why Mourn Me Now?

To help my husband, Julian Parker, pay off the debt from his stock-market losses, I agreed to sell one of my kidneys.
But on the day of the surgery, our six-year-old daughter, Ella Parker, ran to the clinic all by herself and frantically called Julian for help.
Julian sounded conflicted.
"Mom's only having one kidney removed. It'll get Dad out of this mess for good. But if she doesn't do it, Dad's whole future is ruined."
Ella kept begging him to stop the surgery, but Julian simply hung up.
Then he hurried toward a private hospital suite nearby, his face filled with worry.
Inside lay Claire Morgan, the woman he'd never gotten over. Her face was deathly pale.
"Don't worry. We've got a kidney for you. You're going to be fine."
He lowered his voice.
"And don't feel guilty. I'm the one who chose to lie to her. She's still young. She can live just fine with one kidney."
Claire's transplant was a success.
Julian was in such a good mood afterward that, for once, he even suggested taking Ella and me on a trip, calling it a belated honeymoon.
But he had no idea I was already dead.
After my kidney was removed, I couldn't even afford $9.90 for the antibiotics I needed.
The wound became infected, and I died.
And Ella finally gave up on her father, too.
Chapter 1
When I opened my eyes again, my whole body felt strangely light. Every trace of pain was gone.
For a moment, I thought I'd made it through the surgery.
Then I heard Ella's young voice, choked with sobs.
"Mom, what's wrong? Wake up, Mom."
I turned toward the sound.
My six-year-old daughter was kneeling beside the clinic bed, sobbing so hard she could barely breathe.
On the bed in front of her lay my body, pale and completely still.
That was when it hit me.
Oh. I hadn't made it.
I was dead.
It made sense, really. We were broke, so I'd had the surgery at a small private clinic.
Afterward, I hadn't been given antibiotics or even painkillers.
Once the anesthesia wore off, the pain became unbearable. I could feel myself slipping away.
Still, I accepted my death surprisingly quickly. I wasn't even that upset.
Our family was drowning in debt and desperate for money. If my death could give Julian and Ella a secure future, maybe it was worth it.
Just as I had that thought, a man in a white coat walked in.
He tossed a debit card at Ella's feet. "Stop crying. You're giving me a headache."
His voice was full of impatience.
"There's $700,000 in the account. That's $200,000 more than we agreed on. Take the card, take your mom's body, and get out."
Then he turned toward a container filled with preservation fluid. Inside was the kidney that had just been removed from me.
Ella's eyes reddened. She rushed over. "That's my mom's! You can't take it!"
She tried to grab the container, but the man kicked her away. She hit the wall hard, her face going pale with pain.
My heart clenched.
Ella had always been timid and quick to tears. I thought that would finally make her give up.
But it didn't.
Still sobbing, she rushed at him again.
The man snapped his fingers. Three men came in from the hallway and restrained her, holding her down no matter how hard she struggled.
"What do you mean, your mom's?" the man snapped. "We paid for it. Don't start trouble, kid. Take the money and go."
He picked up the container.
"The buyer paid a fortune for this kidney. If anything happens to it, you won't get paid, and your mom will have died for nothing."
Pinned to the floor, Ella burst into helpless sobs.
"I don't want the money! I want my mom! I'll give the money back! Just give me my mom back..."
No one listened.
The man hurried away with the kidney.

Chapter 2
Only after the sound of an engine starting outside did the men finally release Ella.
Perhaps she had cried until she had no strength left. By then, she could only manage weak, broken sobs.
She took out her phone and called Julian again and again.
As always, every call went unanswered.
At last, she picked up the card in despair. Somehow, she managed to hoist my body onto her tiny shoulders.
"Mom, I'll take you home."
I had no idea how a frail six-year-old managed to get my body home.
I had no control over where I went. Some unseen force compelled me to follow the man into his car.
Throughout the drive, he guarded my kidney as though it were priceless. He placed the container in the passenger seat, fastened the seat belt around it, and kept glancing over to make sure it was safe.
Only when the car stopped outside an upscale private medical center did he relax.
He carried the container to a man waiting at the entrance and practically bowed as he handed it over.
The moment I saw that all-too-familiar face, I froze.
It was my husband, Julian Parker, the very man who had talked me into selling a kidney to pay off his debts.
Before I could understand why my kidney was being handed to him, Julian carefully accepted the container. "I've wired you the remaining $5 million."
Without so much as mentioning me, he turned and hurried back into the hospital.
I stood there, too stunned to move.
Not long ago, Julian had told me he'd lost everything in the stock market and still owed more than $1 million.
To help him pay off the debt, I'd sold our house and car. Ella had even sold her beloved piano.
Even after all that, we still owed a fortune.
So where had Julian gotten $5 million?
Before I could make sense of it, he hurried inside and handed the container to a doctor.
A nurse rushed over before he could say anything.
"Mr. Parker, your girlfriend refuses to go through with the surgery. You need to talk to her."
Panic flashed across Julian's face.
He didn't correct her. Instead, as composed as ever, he instructed the doctor to prepare for surgery immediately. Then he strode upstairs.
Still dazed, I followed him. We stopped outside a private suite.
The moment I saw the woman lying inside, my breath caught.
It was Claire Morgan, Julian's first love. The woman he had never gotten over.
They had dated years ago, but the Parker family hadn't considered Claire good enough for him. Furious, she left the country and cut off all contact for years.
Years later, the Parker family lost its fortune, and Julian was pressured into marrying me. We settled into married life and eventually had Ella.
After Ella was born, I once caught Julian staring at a photograph of Claire with tears in his eyes.
That was when I first learned about Claire.
But I didn't care.
By then, we'd been married for years and had a child together. I trusted him not to cross that line.
I never imagined that the real reason he'd asked me to sell my kidney was so he could give it to her.
Claire looked at him, her face pale. "Julian, maybe I shouldn't go through with the surgery. You're married now. I don't see much point in staying alive anyway."
Julian hurried to her side and took her hand.
When he spoke, his voice held a tenderness I barely recognized. "I had no choice when I married her. I've never stopped loving you. If you die, I won't be able to go on."
He tightened his grip on her hand. "Promise me you'll go through with the surgery, okay? Your blood type is rare. It took me so long to find a kidney that matched."
Claire shook her head. "I know that's Diana's kidney. You should give it back to her. I don't want you two fighting over me."

Chapter 3
"Please, Claire. Stop worrying and trust me this once," Julian nearly begged.
Claire held firm. "But what if Diana asks you for a divorce? If I ruin your marriage, I'll never forgive myself."
"That won't happen." Julian shook his head. "She loves me too much to leave."
They looked like a pair of star-crossed lovers torn apart by cruel fate.
With every word, the truth fell into place.
After returning from abroad, Claire had learned that she had end-stage kidney disease. She needed a transplant to survive.
Her blood type was rare, making a compatible kidney nearly impossible to find. Julian had searched tirelessly, but every lead had fallen through.
Meanwhile, Claire grew weaker by the day.
Then Julian secretly arranged compatibility tests for Claire and me. When the results showed that I was a match, he set his sights on my kidney.
The failed investments, the debt collectors, the threats...
None of it had been real.
I smiled bitterly.
Julian was right about one thing.
I loved him deeply.
When he told me he was bankrupt, my first instinct was to stand by him.
I sold everything I could and did whatever it took to raise money. I juggled five jobs at once and accepted any work that paid.
Julian had never been stingy when it came to providing for Ella and me. I had taken that as proof that he cared about his family. So I believed I should stand by him through thick and thin.
A week earlier, Julian had asked me to sell one of my kidneys.
At first, I refused.
The very next day, debt collectors dragged him away and threatened to cut off one of his fingers if he didn't pay.
After I managed to get him released, he stood on the balcony late that night. He claimed he couldn't take it anymore and wanted to end it all.
That was when I finally gave in.
But now I knew the truth.
It had all been an act.
Julian, who normally had no patience for anyone, spent nearly half an hour coaxing Claire before she finally agreed to the surgery.
As she was wheeled into the operating room, Julian never took his eyes off her.
I had never seen him look so worried.
He was supposed to stay with me through my surgery. But then one phone call came in, and he rushed off. I walked into that clinic alone, and the surgery ultimately cost me my life.
The difference between being loved and being unloved had never been clearer.
As Julian waited anxiously outside the operating room, his phone rang again.
My name flashed across the screen.
Diana.
This time, he didn't reject the call.
After two seconds of hesitation, he answered.
"Dad, Mom..."
The moment the call connected, Ella's tearful voice came through.
But before she could finish, Julian interrupted her in a flat voice. "Ella, there's nothing Dad can do. Stop calling me."
He sighed impatiently.
"I know you feel sorry for Mom, but Dad is working hard, too. I'm earning money and trying to pay off our debts. Once I'm back on my feet, I'll buy you a new piano."
The lies came out without the slightest hint of shame.
I used to feel sorry for him.
Now I only felt like a fool.
We had been married for eight years, yet I had never realized what a good actor my husband was.
Ella cried harder. "I don't want a new piano. I don't want anything. Dad, please come home."
Julian grew irritated. "Ella, why can't you be more understanding? Do you really want to see Dad beaten to death because I can't pay what I owe?"
"I don't..."
"Then be a good girl. Mom will wake up in a few hours, so take care of her until then. I won't be home tonight. Tell her for me."

Chapter 4
Just then, a doctor emerged from the operating room.
Without waiting to hear what else Ella had to say, Julian ended the call and hurried over.
The moment he learned the surgery had been a success, relief washed over him.
From then on, Julian waited on Claire hand and foot.
Worried that her muscles would atrophy from lying in bed too long, the normally impatient Julian spent forty minutes massaging her legs.
He thought the IV fluid was too cold, so he warmed the IV line in his hands.
When Claire complained that her little toe was cramping, Julian gently massaged it without hesitation, despite being a germaphobe.
I'd always known him to be hopeless at taking care of anyone.
He could barely look after Ella. Once, he'd nearly mixed laundry detergent into her bottle instead of baby formula.
This was the first time I had ever seen him be so attentive.
Apparently, being loved worked wonders.
In less than two days, Claire was already able to walk.
Since the weather was nice, Julian took her for a walk in the nearby park.
While they rested, he disappeared for two minutes. When he returned, he had both hands hidden behind his back and a mischievous smile on his face.
"My brave girl made it through surgery, so I've got a little reward for you."
With a flourish, he revealed a glossy wedding photography portfolio filled with sample portraits of couples in wedding gowns and tuxedos.
Claire's eyes widened in delight.
Julian arched a brow, clearly pleased with himself.
"I booked their most expensive package. Once you're fully recovered, we'll have our wedding portraits taken at the end of the month. What do you think?"
Claire was about to nod when something seemed to occur to her. The light in her eyes dimmed. "Aren't you worried Diana might find out?"
At the mention of my name, Julian's smile froze. "Let's not talk about anyone else right now."
He paused before adding, "Besides, I'm already married to her. They're just wedding photos. She can't seriously make a scene over something so small, can she?"
Claire smiled. "Julian, you've done so much for me. I'm really touched."
She rose to her feet, her gaze turning intimate as she slowly leaned closer.
The air between them grew charged.
I knew exactly what was about to happen.
A sharp ache twisted through my heart.
"Dad."
Ella's voice came from nearby.
Julian snapped back to his senses and quickly pulled away from Claire. Visibly flustered, he turned toward the voice.
The sight of Ella nearly broke me.
Her clothes, normally spotless, were stained and rumpled. Her eyes were swollen nearly shut and badly bloodshot.
The shock of my death had clearly taken a terrible toll on her.
She didn't even notice what Julian and Claire had been about to do.
The moment she saw Julian, she threw herself into his arms.
"Dad, I finally found you," she rasped.
"Mom's dead. There was so much blood. She won't move, and she won't talk to me..."
Ella tried to cry again, but she had no tears left. Only a hoarse, broken sound escaped her.
Julian froze.
Claire smiled from beside him. "You're Ella, right? Don't worry. Your mom just had surgery, and the anesthesia hasn't worn off yet. That's why she can't move."
She continued gently, "She may be too weak to talk, but she isn't dead."
Then Claire reached out and stroked Ella's hair. "You're such a cute little girl."

Chapter 5
Ella pulled away from Claire's hand and stared at her in confusion.
She was too young to understand the situation, but even she could sense something was wrong when she saw Julian alone with Claire.
She pointed at Claire and demanded, "Dad, who is she? Why are you with her?"
Julian gave an awkward laugh. "She's a friend of mine."
"Have you been with her this whole time?" Ella asked. "Do you really have to stay with a friend for that long?"
Julian had no answer.
Claire managed two unsteady steps before pausing to catch her breath. "Julian, maybe you should take Ella home first. Diana needs someone with her, too."
Ella was too young to catch the implication in Claire's words.
She quickly grabbed Julian's hand. "Dad, come home with me. You need to see Mom. Mom..."
Before she could finish, Julian pulled his hand free. "I can't, Ella. My friend still needs me. Go home by yourself.
"I'll give you some money. You can buy your favorite ice cream and some snacks, okay?"
As he had so many times before, Julian pulled some cash from his wallet and held it out to her, hoping that would make her leave.
Ella stared at the bills. "Dad, I thought we didn't have any money."
Julian's hand froze.
Ella looked at him as though she no longer recognized him and slowly backed away.
Perhaps it was only then that she noticed how different he looked.
For months, Julian had dressed more and more simply to keep up the lie. Now he stood before her in an expensive designer suit, polished and perfect.
He was holding Claire upright. A thick wedding photography portfolio lay on the bench beside them.
"Dad, don't you love Mom and me anymore?" It took Ella a long moment to force out the question.
Julian fell silent.
He opened his mouth as if to answer, but Ella seemed to understand anyway. Tears spilled down her cheeks.
Then she turned and ran, as though she was too afraid to hear the answer.
Julian instinctively started after her, but Claire grabbed his wrist. "Don't worry, Julian. She's still young. You can explain everything later, and she'll understand."
Julian pressed his lips together. When he saw how unsteady Claire was, he stayed behind.
Perhaps he was afraid Ella would tell me what she'd seen. Back at the hospital, Julian tried calling me several times.
Every call went unanswered.
He frowned and began typing a message.
Julian: [Ella must have told you what happened, but it isn't what you think. Pick up. We need to talk.]
I had no idea what he wanted to say to me.
Perhaps he didn't know either.
After typing out the message, he erased it without sending it.
He sat in silence for a long time before returning to Claire's suite.
"I'm going home tomorrow," he told her. "You should stay here and rest."
Claire nodded. "I'll come with you. I should explain everything to her myself."
Julian looked ready to refuse, but Claire continued. "Diana doesn't know I'm the one who received her kidney. I want to thank her."
After a few seconds, Julian nodded.
That night, I watched him check his phone again and again. He kept opening our message thread and scrolling through our old conversations.
When I realized he was waiting for me to contact him, I was surprised.
In all our years together, Julian had always been distant. I was the clingy one.
Whenever I texted him about my day, he either didn't reply or sent back a flat "Okay."

Chapter 6
The last message in our conversation had been from me.
It was a photo of Julian's favorite watch.
Me: [I'll work hard and buy it back as soon as I can.]
After a moment's thought, Julian finally replied.
Julian: [Okay.]
Perhaps he expected me to respond as I always did.
The next morning, the first thing he did was reach for his phone and open our message thread.
There were no new messages.
Julian seemed irritated. On the drive home with Claire, he barely listened to anything she said.
Claire took his hand reassuringly. "It's okay."
Julian frowned, growing even more annoyed. "I'm fine. Worst case, Diana and I get divorced. We were only together because our families set us up. It's not like I ever loved her that much."
"Don't say that just because you're angry," Claire said.
Julian said nothing.
The car soon stopped outside the run-down apartment building where we now lived.
I'd bought our old house with my own money, but I'd sold it to pay off Julian's supposed debts. After that, we'd moved into a shabby rental in an aging complex.
As Julian approached the building, something in the dumpster caught his eye.
His sheets and comforter were inside.
His expression darkened further as he stormed upstairs.
"Diana, don't you think you've gone too far?" he shouted the moment he stepped inside.
Ella emerged from the bedroom. She seemed even thinner than before, and her eyes were still swollen.
The sight of her softened Julian's anger slightly. "Ella, where's Mom?"
Ella gave him a flat glance but said nothing. Then she began throwing all his clothes into the trash.
Julian frowned, unease creeping across his face. "Ella, I asked you a question."
Claire stepped forward. "Julian, don't be angry. Let me talk to her. I remember what it was like to be her age. I know how to talk to her."
Julian rarely paid much attention to Ella, so he took Claire at her word and nodded.
Claire walked over and crouched in front of Ella. "Ella, I know you're upset, but you need to trust your dad. Don't be mad anymore, okay?"
She smiled gently. "You're a good girl. I know you can control your emotions."
Claire reached out and placed a hand on Ella's shoulder.
But I caught a vicious glint in her eyes. Her fingers dug hard into Ella's shoulder.
Ella cried out and shoved her away.
Claire lost her balance and fell to the floor. She clutched her surgical wound, her face twisting in pain.
"Ella Parker, what are you doing?"
In a flash of rage, Julian called his daughter by her full name. He rushed forward and shoved Ella aside.
She stumbled into a table, striking her head against it with a dull thud.
Julian didn't even look at her. He hurried to help Claire up while Ella stood there, staring at him blankly.
"Who taught you to behave like this?" Julian shouted. "Was it your mother? Where is she? Tell her to come out here!"
Just then, the front door opened.
A man from the funeral home stepped inside, dressed in a black suit and carrying an urn.
He looked around the room.
"Is anyone here Diana Parker's next of kin? These are her ashes. I'll need a signature."